When I was young I hated being alone. It made me feel like a loser and I was always with different people in order to avoid that. There were times, when some friends were out of town, others were busy, etc. That’s when I was going to movies, pubs and doing shopping just to be surrounded by people. And in ”worst” times, when I was home alone I was turning on the TV or radio in order to kill the silence. So that was one of the extremes I was at…
Many years later I had a ”career” at telecom. During those days I saw so many people, received so many calls, had so many meetings and spoke so much that it became too much. After few years all I wanted was to be alone for at least few minutes. I had no time for myself, no time for silence and relaxation. I was so tired back home that I had no energy left for my family. Phone ringtones irritated me; crowded places were getting on my nerves… I had reached the second extreme…
Today I have more balanced life. I am surrounded by people I like and have a balance between family, loneliness and socializing. I guess, I am somewhere in the middle.
After being in both extremes now I understand that the time when one is alone may be very valuable. After all there are a lot of things to do when you are lonely and sometimes some alone time is what you need to get to the next level. Feelings of loneliness can be painful, yet when you learn to convert loneliness to solitude, you’ll see how it can empower you.
It was Paul Tillich who said: “Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone”.
You can combat loneliness by turning it into solitude and then it might become your greatest gift. Here is why..
You hear your inner voice
Your inner voice is always there and it always tells something, but when your attention is somewhere else you may not hear it. Once you are alone with your inner voice you will be able to hear and understand its message. And usually it knows what it says.
You can concentrate on your task
You will not be distracted by anything when you are alone and will be able to complete the writing, which needed concentration, focus and creativity.
You can feel the importance of someone
Yes, most of the times you know how you feel about the person. But when he is not with you, you get the chance of feeling how much you miss him, how important he is to you and how good it is to have him in your life.
You can hear the silence
Have you noticed how much noise is around you most of the time? The traffic, the TV, phones ringing in the office, the hateful alarm clock in the morning… Now you finally have the chance of listening to the silence and enjoying its sound.
You can dream
In the busy pace of the week day you usually have no time for daydreaming. Now, that you’re finally alone you can visit your dreams, visualize them and eventually get closer to their realization.
You can locate your place
Most probably you know where you wanna be and which goals you want to achieve. Now you can evaluate current situation and see where you stand at the moment. Turn on your life GPS and see the route it shows.
You can read
Watching movies/football/etc. together is fun! Discussing events/people and books is also fun. But reading a book (blog) is something you have to do alone. So this is a perfect time to grab your book and enjoy it!
You can recharge
Most probably you wouldn’t like to be alone all the time. But now that you are, it is the best time to recharge with positive thoughts and energy in order to be at your best when you are around people!
So next time when you are alone, don’t panic and don’t feel like a loser. Enjoy the loneliness and benefit from it!