Have you ever been frustrated and disappointed because things don’t move forward, success cannot be seen and there are problems around you?
What do you do then?
Most probably what I do and what most of us do too.
We fall into the negative flow and concentrate on lack of success, unsolved problems and anger. We become impatient, start to stress out and think of million negative things at once.
”My blog does not get enough traffic…”, ”no one reads me…”, ”I am not good enough…”, ” It’s impossible…”, ”I can’t…”, ”Life is not fair…”, ”My boss is a monster…”, ”My job is terrible…”, ”I don’t have enough money…”, ” I am so lonely…”, ”I am fat…”, etc…
The thoughts turn in your mind and with snowball effect bring more negative feelings and additional unexpected problems.
But why do we get into this stage at first place?
Maybe because there are some things in life we should give up, but we don’t. These things get together and contribute to our bad mood and low self-esteem.
Most probably we will not succeed and feel happy, until we give up those.
So what are those things? What should we give up today?
1. Complaining
Complaining is not productive. It does not solve the problem. It does not make you feel better either. Just the opposite – by complaining you only re-live your problem over and over again.
2. Procrastinating
If we postpone solving our problems all the time we will be living with those problems all the time. It is as simple as that.
3. Lying to yourself and others
Fooling others is bad, but fooling yourself is much worse. Lies usually lead to bigger lies and at some point they make you lose the objective perception of the reality.
4. Depending on people’s opinion
When you depend on other people’s opinion you start acting according to their expectations. This means that your wishes, dreams, values are not priority, but other people’s are. You will never be happy as long as you do that. It’s your life, not theirs – remember that!
5. Worrying about the past
There always comes a stage, when you have to leave your past behind. Stop worrying about what you did. Stop worrying about what you were supposed to do but didn’t. Accept the fact that things turned out the way that did and it is ok. Keep only the nostalgic feelings and nice memories from the past and let go all the rest.
6. Blaming others
Yes, it is so easy to blame others. It makes you believe that you are not responsible and that it was not your fault.
Guess what?
You and only you are responsible for your life, for how it is and how it is not. You may not like how you live and that might not be your fault. But not liking your life and not doing anything to change the situation is your choice. So stop looking for someone to blame and require changes from you instead.
7. Resisting the change
Yes, I know that sometimes changes are scary. I know that the uncertainty and unknown caused by changes may be intimidating. But I also know that changes may bring opportunities and better beginnings.
8. Expecting immediate results
There is no magic stick and no shortcut to success. Longed results are fruit of your efforts, time and work. So just do what you are required to get where you want to be and be patient. If you are persistent enough you will get there sooner or later. But not immediately, that’s for sure.
9. Making excuses
We can always think of different excuses not to be happy. But the truth is that they are not as strong as we present them to be. They are there – but the fact is that they are not good enough!
10. Striving for perfection
In this life nothing is perfect. By trying to be perfect we spend extra energy and effort in vain. Perfectionists are never happy by their results and feel disappointed most of the time.
To be honest, I have not completely given up the above points yet but I am trying. Something tells me that without them life will be much better, lighter and happier.
What about you? What do you think is standing between you and your happiness?
I am often impatient. When I work hard towards a goal I want to see results. When they are nonapparent or too slow to realize for my taste, I get discouraged. What I then focus on is taking baby steps towards my goal. I then feel that at least I am taking action and not waiting for the world to recognize my art, my blog, my branding, etc. When I think of giving up I imagine my life without pursuing my passions and then I realize that is not an option so I should just keep living my creative passion.
Jane Robinson recently posted..Your Creative Journey – Now that you’ve left shore
Jane – I am going through the same cycles. It really is difficult to go on when results are not apperent at first
We need to practice self motivation, I guess…
Yes, a lighter, happier life – I’m all for that! Now that I think about it – when I feel lighter and happier I’m more productive, less critical, less judgmental, complain less, etc. so the reverse is also true — behavior change affects our feelings and our feelings affect our behaviors! Interesting loop! Thanks for getting me to reflect on this. Thank you, Ani!
Hi Lori, I am glad the post made you reflect on things
“What do you think is standing between you and your happiness?”
Laziness
we all have that vice Amit

Ani recently posted..10 Things You Should Give Up To Live Better
Good reminders, Ani. Thanks!
Bobbi Emel recently posted..How to stop worrying
Thanx Bobbi!
Hi Ani, thanks for the helpful post. It’s amazing the number of ways we can get in our own way, isn’t it? I relate to so many of these, resisting change is a big one for me, but as you say, it’s important that we don’t allow these to snowball on us.
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Thanx for the comment Dave. Changes are quite scary sometimes, but usually the risk pays off, I think.
Great and extensive list. I am going to quote you in my next post if that is ok.
I am a big believer on the power of not making excuses and blaming others.
Thank you for your fresh perspective.
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very powerful advice
you just mentioned many of the things that ruin people’s lives
i believe getting over only one of these things can improve a person’s life dramatically
many thanks
farouk recently posted..Why do people drink alcohol (The psychology of drinking)
Yeah… there are so many things that hold us back and make our lives not as good as we want it to be. I also believe that getting over each of them will make things better.
Thank you for this 10 things!! They are great! And leaving them I think will make almost every person better…. I just want to add one additional things from my experience which I think can make our life better.
11 ) We can’t leave alone we have many family members – parents, sister/brother, friends, wife/husband. And one of the most important thing are to be able to accept them as they are! Don’t try to change them. Respect their attitude (they can have different views on life ). The nice thing about life is that it’s perfect! Just enjoy it and accept things as they are, as you don’t try to change flowers, for example Tullps to be Roses!
Welcome to Life Probabilities

and thank yoou for the 11th point!
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