What do you do then?
Most probably what I do and what most of us do too.
We fall into the negative flow and concentrate on lack of success, unsolved problems and anger. We become impatient, start to stress out and think of million negative things at once.
”My blog does not get enough traffic…”, ”no one reads me…”, ”I am not good enough…”, ” It’s impossible…”, ”I can’t…”, ”Life is not fair…”, ”My boss is a monster…”, ”My job is terrible…”, ”I don’t have enough money…”, ” I am so lonely…”, ”I am fat…”, etc…
The thoughts turn in your mind and with snowball effect bring more negative feelings and additional unexpected problems.
But why do we get into this stage at first place?
Maybe because there are some things in life we should give up, but we don’t. These things get together and contribute to our bad mood and low self-esteem.
Most probably we will not succeed and feel happy, until we give up those.
So what are those things? What should we give up today?
Complaining is not productive. It does not solve the problem. It does not make you feel better either. Just the opposite – by complaining you only re-live your problem over and over again.
If we postpone solving our problems all the time we will be living with those problems all the time. It is as simple as that.
3. Lying to yourself and others
Fooling others is bad, but fooling yourself is much worse. Lies usually lead to bigger lies and at some point they make you lose the objective perception of the reality.
4. Depending on people’s opinion
When you depend on other people’s opinion you start acting according to their expectations. This means that your wishes, dreams, values are not priority, but other people’s are. You will never be happy as long as you do that. It’s your life, not theirs – remember that!
5. Worrying about the past
There always comes a stage, when you have to leave your past behind. Stop worrying about what you did. Stop worrying about what you were supposed to do but didn’t. Accept the fact that things turned out the way that did and it is ok. Keep only the nostalgic feelings and nice memories from the past and let go all the rest.
6. Blaming others
Yes, it is so easy to blame others. It makes you believe that you are not responsible and that it was not your fault.
You and only you are responsible for your life, for how it is and how it is not. You may not like how you live and that might not be your fault. But not liking your life and not doing anything to change the situation is your choice. So stop looking for someone to blame and require changes from you instead.
7. Resisting the change
Yes, I know that sometimes changes are scary. I know that the uncertainty and unknown caused by changes may be intimidating. But I also know that changes may bring opportunities and better beginnings.
8. Expecting immediate results
There is no magic stick and no shortcut to success. Longed results are fruit of your efforts, time and work. So just do what you are required to get where you want to be and be patient. If you are persistent enough you will get there sooner or later. But not immediately, that’s for sure.
9. Making excuses
We can always think of different excuses not to be happy. But the truth is that they are not as strong as we present them to be. They are there – but the fact is that they are not good enough!
10. Striving for perfection
In this life nothing is perfect. By trying to be perfect we spend extra energy and effort in vain. Perfectionists are never happy by their results and feel disappointed most of the time.
To be honest, I have not completely given up the above points yet but I am trying. Something tells me that without them life will be much better, lighter and happier.
What about you? What do you think is standing between you and your happiness?